The Green Monster.....

Slow down, there, BoSox fans. I am not referring to the left field wall at Fenway. This will not be a blog about Big Papi or Manny. Although, with what's happening to my D'backs..... No! I will not go there. I promised myself I wouldn't. This is not going to be a discussion on baseball. It's about the other green monster. The one that has ruined relationships. Many of them before they even had a chance to begin. The green monster that is so pervasive, it is found in almost every home. The green monster that can start a war and keep it from ever ending. Jealousy, people. Plain and simple. Jealousy. Now I know what you are thinking. What could a single guy who is not in a relationship have to say about jealousy in a time when he should not be experiencing it? Funny you should ask. The answer is 2-fold. First, jealousy is not reserved for relationships. It creeps into every aspect of our lives whether we like it or not so if I want to write about it, I can. My blog, my rules. ( I am focusing on the relationship aspect of jealousy but that is neither here nor there) The second reason is that twice today the topic was brought up in conversations so I felt that was what I needed to talk about. The first conversation involved a young lady I work who I will call "Jen." Aw crap, sorry Jennifer. I used your real name....I'll move on. Jennifer was regaling a few of us male co-workers with a story involving her boyfriend and 3 other guys who were "checking her out." She thought that the guys checking her out were rude and that her boyfriend should have been upset by their brash attempts at stealing her away from her large and obviously "with her" boyfriend. Apparently, according to her he got upset, but did nothing to stop them. Now guys, we know better, right? He was not really upset, right? He just acted upset for her benefit. Deep inside, he was thinking what we all think when other dudes check out our hot ladies...."Yeah, that's right, she's with me! Sucker!" Seriously ladies, this is not what makes us jealous. My ex-wife tried one time to get some sort of reaction out of me by telling me that some stranger had randomly approached her in the parking lot of our local Fry's grocery store to tell her how beautiful she was. Was I supposed to get upset by this? Was I supposed to take it as a hint that I was not saying she was beautiful enough? I am not quite sure. Never will know. Don't care. To me, that is a game. I don't like those kind of games. I have always viewed myself as a relatively non-jealous type. I am proud of the girls that I am with at the time and would not find it necessary to get protective. They are with me. If they want someone else, good riddance. Nothing I can do. You can't stop the love, baby. So, when it comes to this kind of jealousy I think men and women have different views. They will always be different. Mars and Venus and all of that crap. The second conversation I had was with my good friend, I will call her "Wendy," crap I did it again, I am not very good at this, and we were chatting about jealousy vs. insecurity. Is there a difference? Does one cause the other? If you are insecure in yourself or your relationship, are you more likely to be jealous? Does jealousy lead to insecurity? As i am writing these questions I am starting to realize that we are going into a chicken/egg situation. You know what I mean. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? We will never know the answer to this question. Will we ever know the answer to the jealousy/insecurity question? I doubt it. What I do know is that insecurity is something that can be improved or removed. It just takes some work. More often than not, the kind of work it takes requires serious introspection and hard decisions. Sometimes, we are not willing to do these things but if we are going to defeat the Green Monster, we are going to have to.