Awwww Hell no.... Tagged again.... Dammit....

Well, thanks to my dear friend Connie, I have been tagged once again. What do I mean by this? Why does this seem to cause me so much distress? It is the simple fact that I now have to come up with 7 things that you people probably don't know about me or were afraid to ask. The part that really gets to me though is that I am supposed tag 7 people. Not going to happen. You cannot make me and I will not do it. Some people may be okay with piling on unnecessary guilt to unsuspecting fat guys but this fat guy won't do it. I won't. Watch me. I will, however, participate in the seven details about me. I have done this once before so i am going to try to come up with new facts. If I repeat, I am sorry. If you figure out that I have repeated, you either are obsessed enough with me to have memorized the last list or you dug deep into my archives to find out.... Either way, please, seek help. Okay, here we go...



1) I perform Shakespeare and have been paid well for it. Yep. That's right. This fat guy actually has other talents besides his amazing writing and brilliant work in the sack.... Ok, that second part, not really true.... Well, I am not the worst.... I am quite sure of that.... Anyway.... I have done many shows over the last 15 years with the Southwest Shakespeare Company and played a wide variety of roles. I was most recently in "Much Ado About Nothing" in the Spring of '06. It was great. I have a thing for the language. I have a thing for the bawdiness. I love double entendre. I have always enjoyed the stage. Shakespeare just makes it that much better.

2) I have taught Desert Survival classes for Maricopa County Parks and Recreation. The evolution of how I got that gig is quite funny. In my early years of teaching, I got a summer teaching job doing Summer School for elementary school age kids. There were some remedial classes but for the most part there were fun classes. Gave the kids something to do during the summer. One of the classes I taught was Desert Survival. It was fascinating. The kids loved it. I loved it. One of the activities was to have a Park Ranger come in. On one of the Ranger visits, the ranger stayed and listened to some of my presentation. He asked if I would like to develop the curriculum for adults and teach some classes out at Usery Mountain park. I obliged. It was great.

3) When I was in 2nd Grade, I was dead sure that when I grew up, I was going to be an entomologist. Ok, first of all, what the Hell is that? Well, Mr/Ms Impatient Pants, I was getting to that... An entomologist is a scientist who studies bugs. I loved bugs, apparently. So much that I swore that I was going to study them my whole life. My folks even went so far as to get me my own professional dissecting kit so I could dissect bugs. Well, this was a patently bad idea as we soon found out when I was dissecting more toys than bugs and at least once or twice, the "probe" got stuck in a few compromising places.... Bad times..... Very bad times..... Needless to say, between the horrifying experiences with the "probe" and my lack of any type of interest in getting a science based degree, this dream eventually died.

4) My favorite actor of all time is Spencer Tracy. Hands down. Bar none. I should not have to explain or justify this. So, I won't.

5) I love to Downhill Ski. Now, dammit, get the image of the Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man careening down a mountain side at 250 mph. It's not like that. Really. I am pretty good. As long as I stay within my comfort zone and not try any Black Diamonds. For me, the fun of skiing is the feel of the breeze on your face as you glide down a spectacular landscape. The occasional spill or two is bearable when you are with friends and the chair lift always has something in store for you. When I think back to all of the good times I have had in my life, several of the top 20 are ski trips.

6) I could live on Apple Jacks and Cheddar Cheese Pringles. This is not a joke, people. These two creations are the two, single most important creations that exist on this little blue and green ball that is the third rock from the sun. If they were not around, I am quite sure that I would not be either.

7) I once canoed 50 miles down the Colorado River. I am an Eagle Scout. For those of you not familiar, that is the highest rank one can achieve in Boy Scouts. I was very fortunate that I was in an amazing Troop. Troop 288. The biggest bunch of trouble making, noise making, risk taking, illegal activity participating group of guys you would ever want to meet but they all had hearts. The men and the boys. We did so many things and I conquered so many fears it was incredible. I learned so much. I also got to do things that many people never will. Catch and release a rattlesnake. Hike for miles and camp the way God intended it. No luxuries. No comforts. I also got to canoe down the Colorado River. With my father. It was indescribable. The scenery. The camaraderie. Just incredible.

Ok. There you go. Feel like you know me better? Feel closer to me? Feel afraid of me? I think you should....I am messed up.....