Kids..... You Know I Love 'Em......

I keep getting reminded that Vivian is just a few years away from 13. In a month and 5 days, she will be exactly 5 years from this milestone. I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you who feel the need to remind me of this. Reminding me that when she hits 13, all Hell breaks loose. Literally. She will be overtaken by some kind of demon and no longer be my sweet little girl. Have you people forgotten that I taught Jr. High School? I know how these things work. I am already aware of the transformation that takes place in our children. Granted, my own child will be that nightmare times 1000, but I do not need the reminders. I am given little reminders and clues all of the time as to what is in store for me. I have been getting them for years. Let me explain. When she was just a tiny baby on up to a year old, I remember thinking, "I cannot wait until she can walk on her own." I thought how much less tired my arms would be. How great it would be to have her walk with me. Watching her walk to her Kindergarten class. I remember thinking this stuff. Then she could walk. Non-stop chasing her around the house. Running off too far ahead in a busy parking lot and scaring the shit out of me. Walking just far enough ahead, on purpose, at a crowded event to where I go into panic mode and give myself a coronary worrying about her. They all said when she was little and I wanted her to walk that I should be careful what I wish for.... Yeah.... Bite me!!! Then there was the excitement of her first words. The first thing I remember her saying coherently is "Wass dat?" She has not stopped asking questions since...... "Are chicken fingers really made from chicken's fingers, why are you so hairy, Daddy, why is Pluto not a planet anymore, what if a shark got into Grandma and Papa's pool, can McKenna play, why are you crying? Question after question. If I had known what came with the ability to talk, I would have not taught her English. Maybe Greek. Then, with the talking, there is also the advent and perfection of the negative response.... No, Not Fair, Never, Nope, Not Now, Now, Never mind. Ah, the long lost days of screaming and crying as a way to communicate. I really think I miss it. There was usually a reason for it and it could be taken care of. Now SHE has the answer for everything and I am the one crying and screaming. I remember getting so excited when you could actually see the voice recognition on her face when Daddy came into the room. Now I can't get her to recognize my voice at any volume level. To her, I am not only speaking a different language, but I am also saying it so quietly she cannot hear a word I say. It seems that things have gotten lost in translation. No means yes. Maybe means definitely. Now means whenever you get around to it. Please means....well, nothing. It is with all of this in mind that I say to you now, I have no expectations one way or the other for my little angel when she turns 13. If I expect the best, she will ensure that is not what happens. If I batten down the hatches for the worst, she will be the exception to the rule and not be all that bad. That is what I have learned. I have also learned that the sound of her laughing makes my heart smile. When she says "I Love You, Daddy," I melt away. I learned that she will always push her boundaries. That is how she grows. She is growing so freakin' fast. I think that is why all of the reminders of the fast approaching teen years get on my nerves. It's not that I don't want her to become 13. It's that I don't want her to grow up. It is all happening waaaaaayyyyy too fast. I know she has to. I know she wants to. I guess the good thing about that is that at least one of us will grow up. God knows I haven't yet.