I am a damn good writer... Guess that makes me a lover, not a fighter...

I find myself reading my own writing from time to time. When the e-mails have been checked and replied to, all MySpace silliness dispensed with, and all blogs written by others read, I like to go to my blogs for a good laugh or two. Maybe even for a cry. Many times for a cry. There are a few things that I have written that really stand out to me. A few of my ramblings that have truly impacted who I am and who I have become over the last 7 or 8 months. I have done a great deal of growing during this time and have discovered a great many things about myself that I thought were long gone. There are some things I thought had died inside of me that I have come to learn were merely comatose, waiting for the right moment to emerge. All of this aside, the one thing that has struck the biggest cord in me is my writing. Until Tuesday, June 26th, 2007 at 12:09am, I had not done a blog. I had never poured my feelings out and put them somewhere for the world to see. That first time was because I was feeling so very much emotion about a situation that I was experiencing I felt I had no choice. I had to get it out, one way or another. I found it therapeutic. I found it exciting. I started to write more. Familiar with the snowball effect? Something just keeps getting bigger and bigger as it rolls on and on... That is a fair description of what this forum has become for me. My stories range from the funny to the sad, short to the long, serious to the hilarious. Everything in between. I am so proud of some of them. Kind of ashamed of others. All of them have meaning. Some a lot more than others. They have all been interwoven by one common thread though. One thing has made them all come to fruition. What has done this? What has inspired all of you to laugh, cry, gag, and enjoy right along side of me? My Muse. I found my Muse that fateful night in June. What is my Muse? What is a Muse? Well, without going into a great deal of historical detail regarding the Greek legend of the Muse, suffice it to say that one's Muse is one's inspiration to create. Your muse may come in many forms. Human form. Animal form. Inanimate objects. Whatever. Doesn't matter. My Muse came to me and that was it. I was hooked. I have been unable to shake the need to write since then. I am glad I have not. Going back and reading, I have found so many treasures! So many wonderful words! "An Open Letter To The One Who Has My Heart" was truly a masterpiece, if I do say so myself. Raw and real. True feelings. Real emotion. Then there was "I knew it, dammit.... I knew it.... Oh.... I'm over it." The blog that has inspired a novel. Norman. Remember him? Still working on him. Not as easy as I thought it would be but he is there. Again, inspired by my Muse and written from the heart about having too many good days in a row. I will not soon forget the one entitled "Ooo...Ow...Ouch... I hate when I do that." This gem was written during a VERY difficult time for me and yet somehow, I managed to find some humor and put it into my writing. I also inspired one of the most incredible responses to any of the things I have ever written. None of you got to see the response as it was not public but I am compelled to share it with you now. The blog was based on an actual event. The person involved read what I wrote. The next day I got an e-mail with a picture in it and a few words. The picture was of this person's hand and a remote control. The words were simple but powerful. "We are ready if you are." Yeah, crying right now. Don't know what the Hell I am talking about? Go back and read it. You'll get it. Then I come across "Some Enchanted Evening..." Again, inspired by an actual event, I am whisked away when reading this one. Placed right in the very moment the connection that the blog refers to was made. It was so powerful. I recently got word that one reader felt the same way in a recent encounter they had. It was nice to hear. Then I come to my most recent writing. The one about "Goodbye." Such a sad word that came from such good intentions. It is a shortened and bastardized version of "God Be With You..." Yeah, I see how they got goodbye from that.... Anyway, as I re-read the "Goodbye" blog, I realized how much I hate goodbye. I am not talking about mild irritation. I mean hate. It is what has me crying right now. It is what is turning my stomach as I write. It is why I am struggling right now to finish this blog. Damn, I am a good writer. I even mess myself up with what I write...