Is there any such thing as a "good" goodbye?

As I sit in front of my computer shortly after midnight on this the first day of 2008 it dawn's on me that this is not only a day to welcome a New Year, it is also a time to say goodbye to an Old Year... All of the television networks have some sort of countdown to help us say goodbye to the year, i.e. The Year's Best Sports Moments, This Year in Weather, Train wrecks of the Year, The Year of the Amazing Orgasm Review... okay, okay... I made the last one up... Although, if I was the Head of Programming for any major network or the Playboy Channel that would be one of the countdowns. Trust me. These countdowns are intended to fill us with laughter and joy and fond memories of the year that has gone by. They are meant to instill us with warm fuzzies at a time that, really, can be quite difficult depending on the year we had. I look at it differently. I have a different perspective. Are you surprised? I didn't think so. You know that I have to skew just about everything. I get off on it. Here it goes.... The countdowns are shown every year at this time to deflect us from realizing that we are saying "Goodbye." We are letting go of the year that was, and let's face it people, "Goodbye" is never a good thing. Before you people say that never is a poor choice in this case I would like to ask that you shut the Hell up until my point is made. Ooooo... that was harsh... Well, shoot, y'all try to get ahead of me too much. Moving on... Look deep and hard into your past. By past I mean as recently as yesterday afternoon and as far back as you can clearly remember. Think about as many goodbyes as you can think of. Any of them good? Now I know that some are thinking, "Well, there were some people and places and situations that I was glad to say goodbye to..." I understand that. I do. Think about it, though. If you were glad to say goodbye, then something was very wrong, ergo, no such thing as a "good" goodbye. May I move on please? I can think of several goodbyes in my life that I can honestly say have affected me a great deal. Some of them because of the permanence in the goodbye. Some because of the incertitude that accompanies the goodbye. Some just because they did not go the way that you wanted them to (to which I would ask, "Do they ever?"). I have had all three of these types of goodbyes throughout my 34 years. I can recall a difficult one that fell into the permanence category. It was with the cat that adopted my family when I was around 10. He was an outside cat that moved to our backyard when his owners (our neighbors) moved to Utah. They asked if we could take care of him and before they were gone, he was in our yard looking for food and love. Both of which were provided and subsequently, the love was returned. He was my rock during those tough, awkward, early teens years. I would retreat to the backyard, full of teenage angst and distraught by the treatment I had received from some girl in Jr High and this cat would come from ANYWHERE in the neighborhood. He was tuned into my brooding. He would arrive just as I flopped down into the lounge chair in disgust. He would jump on my lap and look at me as if to commiserate. It was great. Well, he lived by the sword as an outdoor cat. As a result he was to die by the sword. An abscess that was the result of a fight ended up getting infected rather quickly and rather than allowing him to suffer, the Vet suggested that we put him down. I remember being left with him in the room for a moment and this big, strong, tough teenager balled his eyes out saying goodbye to his com padre. It sucked. Hard core. The incertitude types of goodbyes are usually applied to break-ups. You never know how it will end, really. It is such a pain in the ass. The ones that didn't go the way you wanted them to? Too numerous to count, right? How many times did you prepare yourself for a certain goodbye (grandma, cousins, best friend from the old neighborhood) only to have it take too long, end too quickly or just not go well at all? A lot, huh? Don't tell me no! If you are, you are just being a pain. You know it. Here is the question of the day. Ever had a goodbye that encompassed all three of the above? One that was filled with incertitude, jam- packed with a perceived or possible permanence, and that just wasn't what you wanted it to be? The Tri-Fecta of the Shitty Goodbyes. Often, with these types of goodbyes, there is a great deal of love and well-intentioned emotion. You want to make the goodbye as easy as possible. You want it to be the one that is going to be good. It becomes clear almost the moment you see the person that it will not be good. It is almost tangible. The tension. The sadness. The reality. It hits you like a ton of bricks. Even though you are here in front of me right now, you are here to say "Goodbye." Goodbye is never good. Remember I said that earlier? A couple of times? So, you smile. You make small talk, you hug, maybe kiss, maybe gently yet tentatively hold hands... Only prolonging the inevitable. Hold back the tears. Don't let them know how you are dying inside. Remember, this was supposed to be good. It is a given that you would much prefer to have seen them before they were gone. You needed that "one last time." A given but not necessarily the best choice considering how you feel as you walk away.... Unable to look back for fear of breaking down completely... It was a good thing... Just not a"good" goodbye... Remember, none of them are.