A lond day's journey....oh never mind...

I want you to take a journey with me. This is a journey that will take you back a few years. I am taking you with me for two reasons. Number one, I am truly interested in what others feel about the trip. I want to know how you feel. The second reason is so that I can cleanse or at least sort out some of these random thoughts and feelings that are exploding in my head. This is not a social experiment. I am not really searching for any kind of data. No hard numbers....Heh heh.. I said hard.... Dammit. Where did that come from? I am trying to be serious here!! Heh heh.... I said come....Moving on.... This is just a journey that I am choosing not to take alone in a proverbial sense. I want you to come with me? Wanna join? Let's go.... Back in time..... You are now in High School, Junior High, Middle School, or, for you early bloomers, Elementary School. I want you to project yourself to the exact year that you first kissed a member of the opposite sex in a manner that was both welcomed and enjoyed by both parties. Ladies, you know why I say it like that because of the boys who would force themselves on you at the roller rink when you were skating backwards and their friends were watching. Guys, you know I say it that way because of all of those cramped nervous times you were forced into a closet for "seven minutes in heaven" when you just wanted to tp someone's house. I am not talking about those scenarios. Or any other where both parties were not totally "into" it. I am talking about your all important first kiss. The one you thought about every day. The one you practiced on your pillow for. The one you knew would come, you just never knew when. Think about that one. Think about the day it happened. What grade you were in? Who it was with? What were you wearing? What were they wearing? Was it before/after/during school? On a weekend? Were you totally nervous or did you remain calm? Did you shake? Are you shaking now? I am. Literally trembling. Just thinking about it makes me shake like a leaf on a tree. I don't want a ton of responses that answer all of the above questions. Just want to see if you are shaking too. What is it that makes the first kiss such an amazing event in our lives? Did you feel the same when you lost your innocence? I say it like this because I think there is a difference between "innocence" and "virginity." Stay with me. I remember the first boobie I touched. Not brushed pass accidentally on purpose. Not grabbed in a wrestling match for a note that was note supposed to be read by a boy. I mean permission granted touching. Same goes for other naughty bits. This kind of playing is what I consider loss of innocence. Virginity is pretty self-explanatory. Do you shake when you think of either of these? Better yet, do you shake as much? I am still shaking simply because I am still excited about the kiss. The other things seemed less important to me. They were great, do not get me wrong. I was excited. I enjoyed them trememdously but I am not shaking because of them at this very minute. Nope. It was the kiss. Where does that feeling go? The feeling that causes you to shake. Did you get it when you met the person you are currently with be it wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, friend with benefits, lover, mistress, mist....hey, what is the male equivalent to mistress? Never mind. You understand what I am asking. Honestly, truly and with fear of retribution if you are lying, did you feel the exact same way when you first kissed the one you are with? Did you ever get that feeling again? At any point in your life. I have. I mean it!!! There was one person that made me feel that very same way when our lips met. The thought of that kiss is making me shake all over again. Just as much as when I think about the first kiss. I hope that some day, I can feel it again. I can tell you this much, I will not waste my time with another person of the fairer sex if I don't get that feeling on the first kiss. I have to have it. Will I be waiting a long time? I am prepared to. I have to. It is only then that I will know that it is right. Okay, journey is over. Back to reality. Hope I was a good guide. Thank you for humoring me. I need it every now and then.