Beating Yourself Hurts.... Let Someone Else Do It....

Okay, first of all let's get one thing straight. I am referring to beating yourself UP emotionally. Nothing else. And to be honest, I don't really recommend you let someone else do it to you. It just made for a snappy title. This blog is about the phenomena of torturing ourselves for our mistakes. It's something we all seem to do. Some, like myself, more than others. I am still slicing away at whatever dignity I have left for my recent transgressions and it is SO very hard not to. The nice thing is, I have friends that have my back. Friends who are there for me. People who keep telling me to stop the madness. Stop the torture. It is over and done. You must move on. Truth be told, I have moved on in so many ways. I really have. Certain aspects of what I had done no longer bother me due to the circumstances surrounding them. I can truly say that I am not beating myself up for many of my missteps and mistakes. There are just a few hangers on that are still getting at me. These mainly have to do with my attempts on my life. How selfish was I? How stupid was I being? Was what I had done worth that? The answers to these questions are simple: Very, Very, an NO!!! This is so painfully obvious and yet here I am still pondering it. I guess when you do something as stupid as what I did, you just find it hard to let it go. You are embarrassed. You are ashamed. I have wonderful people around me reminding me to stop with those feelings. It ain't easy. Not at all. Gotta be done, though.