Monday, February 18, 2008

I know what it's like to soar like the eagles... (Just a quick note)

I have always admired birds of prey. In fact, if I were to list my dream jobs, the order would be something like this...

1) Major League Baseball Umpire- Thank you Jim Evans and your Southwest Classic Umpire School (and Ted Barrett, current Major League Umpire) for getting me as close as my 34 year old body would have ever gotten to being one. It was amazing!!!!

2) Wildlife Specialist with an emphasis in Orithology. I know just about as much as anyone should care to know about the Birds of Prey native to Arizona. They fascinate me. Always have, always will.

3) Part owner and GM of my own Irish Pub/restaurant. This one is the most attainable.... Well, duh!!!!!

So, you can see, my fascination with Birds of Prey runs pretty deep. I will have to say at this point that my favorite Bird of Prey is the Eagle. More specifically, the Bald Eagle. No, not because we have the Bald thing in common. It has more to do with the majestic qualities they possess. There was one instance where I was able to witness thier majestic beauty in all of it's glory. It was very early one summer morning and I had gone to the Salt/Verde River convergance for some alone time and fishing. I was (as usual) catching nothing when a shadow crossed my line of sight. I knew instantly what it was. A Bald Eagle. Soaring. I was so envious. I wanted to know how that felt. How it felt to be above the world. Looking down. Totally free. Totally unrestrained by any and all of the trappings the earth has to offer. Circling above the stress, the fear, the pain. Looking down on it with a grin knowing that for the time being, it had no control. Only the sky, the wind currents and my desire to focus on. Well, I gotta tell ya... I now know. I know what that feeling is like. Truly amazing. Words cannot truly give life to the depths of happiness I have experienced during my soaring. I have soared with the eagles above a Gold Canyon and I never want to land.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

I know why Al Capone chose the day for a massacre...

So, I made a promise to myself this year. Wanna know what is was? Of course you do. I promised myself that this year, I was not going to face Valentine's Day with my usual cynicism and disdain. I was not going to decry the superficial and commercial nature of a "holiday" that was, more or less, created for the greeting card industry.... Oh..... Dammit..... That was cynical, huh?..... Okay, from this point on, no more... I was not going to wallow in self-pity because I, once again, was going to spend this holiday alone... working... without anyone to "be" with. That's not cynical. Them's just the facts. I will not be celebrating with someone. Physically. No, I don't mean sex, you perverts (although it is also true that I will not be playing any "under the sheet games" this year on Valentine's Day). What I mean by "physically," is that I got to thinking. Yes, I have a headache as a result but listen.... Do we really need to have our "Valentines" with us in order for the holiday to be enjoyable? My answer to this is a resounding, "No!" How do I figure? It has to be possible. That's how I figure. It's the only way that I will be able to make it through another one. It's the only way for me to stave off the depression and anger that I have experienced during that day for the past several years. For those of you doing the math, I do mean several years and that is more than the 5 you may be thinking... Still not following? Simply put, I cannot remember the last good Valentine's Day that I had. It has been MANY years. So, in order for this one to be different, I have to trust that the conventional rules of celebrating the day are open for interpretation. Okay, here goes my interpretation. My keys to a good Valentine's Day. Feel free to copy and paste these interpretations for your own benefit... First of all, we must define our "Valentine." Conventional celebratory rules will have you believe that this person must be our spouse, fiancee', girlfriend/boyfriend, lover, mate, bestest buddy (FWB), or our favorite booty call. These are all true for most. For some, like myself, these are not present in our lives. Does this mean we are void of love? Does this imply that we cannot have a "Valentine" if we have none of the aforementioned persons in our life? Conventional celebrations will say that. My interpretation? If you have someone in your heart that you would like to be one of these things, but for whatever reason... i.e. timing, distance, morality, restraining order... they can't be, I say that they qualify. I think that if your heart is filled with "true love" for someone that is not one of the above, that person can and should be your "Valentine." Second of all, we must decide what being with them means. Do they have to be right next to you? Must you spend the whole day together? Is dinner a foregone conclusion? Conventional celebrating: Yes Bradley's interpretation: Hell no! If your "Valentine" as defined by me cannot be near you for some reason... i.e. timing.... well, you know... then you should be able to celebrate with them in absentia. The mind is a powerful tool. Imagination can create wonderful scenarios. Don't go too far, though. Especially if restraining order is one of the reasons that you are going by my interpretaion. The last thing I think needs some interpretation is the expectation factor. What do I get my "Valentine?" Candy? Flowers? Lingere'? I am sure you know, by now, that Conventional celebrating agrees with all of the above and then some. My interpretation? How about telling your "Valentine" how much they have filled your heart with joy? Letting them know through well spoken words or well written sentences that without them, you would not know how the sun would rise everyday for you. If they were not in your heart, your would have no need for a heart at all. They have improved your life to the point that you can see no more room for improvement (except maybe get in better shape, quit smoking, and lower your blood pressure). These things would mean so much more than a stuffed animal or a bouquet of roses. At least, I like to think so. There you have it. My interpretation of Valentine's Day. I hope I can be strong and follow my own advice.... I don't hope I can, I know I can. I have to....